Why is it so hard to be attracted to nice guys?

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‍Good guys end final. It’s a standard saying that has been round for nearly 100 years and is simply as common now because it was again then.

However why is that the case? Why is it so onerous to be drawn to good guys?

We’ll uncover the deeper causes behind this phenomenon and perceive what lies behind this lack of attraction!

Good guys let you know how good they’re (and good males present you with their actions, not their phrases)

Good guys will let you know how good they’re and the way they might deal with you want a princess.

However they’re truly horrible at proving it with their actions.

Good guys will go on and on about what they might do for you and the way excellent they’re.

However, they received’t truly do something to indicate you.

Even when they do, they are going to be so busy letting you know the way good they’re to you, that it sort of places a shadow on their actions.

You see, the factor is, actual males will present you their affection and their dedication to you with actions, not with phrases.

Good guys received’t present you their affection and their dedication to you with actions, not with phrases.

However that doesn’t imply that good guys can’t be good companions.

It simply signifies that generally, they’re too busy being seen because the “good man” to truly take motion that can make them an incredible man in your eyes.

And let’s be sincere, as a girl, you hear a lot of bs from males on daily basis.

Males will promise you the world however frankly, that doesn’t actually imply something so long as they don’t have any actions to show it.

However at the very least good guys generally actually do attempt to make you’re feeling good.

And when it comes all the way down to it, good guys shall be there for you when issues get powerful and so they’ll repair your issues.

They’ll do issues for you as a result of they wish to just be sure you are blissful and simply wish to just be sure you are nicely taken care of.

Nonetheless, after they spend a whole lot of time speaking about their good deeds, it may be onerous to really feel drawn to them.

Good guys will beat across the bush and by no means be straight with you

Good guys may have a tough time being sincere with you as a result of they don’t wish to say something mistaken or trigger an argument.

This may be actually irritating since you by no means know the place you stand with them or how they honestly really feel.

Once they wish to voice their considerations, they beat across the bush and by no means be sincere with you.

They received’t let you know how they actually really feel about you as a result of they don’t wish to upset you.

However the factor is, if you know the way they really feel, then there isn’t a battle and no ache within the relationship.

They might reasonably be dishonest and fake that all the things is ideal simply so that they don’t trigger any issues or damage your emotions.

One other manner that good guys fail to be upfront and sincere with you is by having a tough time saying ‘no’.

When you ask them for one thing, they’ll usually comply with do it, even when they don’t have any intention of doing so.

The factor is, that is an unimaginable unattractive trait as a result of most ladies worth a person who’s sincere and open about his emotions.

And when a person will not be sincere with you, it makes him look like he’s weak and uncertain of himself.

He doesn’t wish to be a person who can’t say “no,” so he provides in to your whole calls for.

This makes him look like a pushover and like he’s afraid to face up for himself.

To really feel protected with a person, a girl likes to know that he’s not afraid of battle if want be.

In fact, we don’t essentially need a man who will decide a combat over any tiny factor, however it’s good to know {that a} man is aware of when to face up for himself.

What would a relationship coach say about this example?

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Good guys need their niceness to be rewarded

Good guys will usually anticipate their niceness to be rewarded, like their companion will all of the sudden fall in love with them.

However the actuality is that the niceness is normally anticipated from the companion.

The truth is, folks usually use the phrase ‘good’ as a backhanded praise, which means that somebody did a half-assed job.

So, should you’re a pleasant man, don’t anticipate your companion to all of the sudden fall in love with you.

Good males don’t anticipate to be rewarded for being good and good.

Slightly they’re simply being themselves and so they anticipate nothing in return.

Nothing is much less enticing than a man who thinks he’s entitled to you simply because he was good to you.

In case you are a pleasant man, then it is very important keep in mind that good guys don’t anticipate to be rewarded for being good and good.

As a substitute, they know their niceness shall be appreciated by their companion.

Good guys don’t get wherever

Girls prefer it when males are profitable in life.

This doesn’t imply that they should have a ton of cash, however merely to achieve success in what they love to do.

The factor is, being good received’t get you wherever.

Justin Brown summarized it completely in his video under, he mentioned: “While you exit of your option to be good, you might be enjoying by different folks’s guidelines.

You unconsciously internalize values, requirements, and rules of life which are set by others.

As a substitute, the trail to residing life comes from growing your individual values, requirements, and rules that come from inside.”

If you wish to perceive why you aren’t drawn to good guys or why no lady likes you, this video is a must-watch!

Good guys have a whole lot of tales of girls dumping them or being the sufferer

Good guys will usually have a whole lot of tales about how girls dump them or how they’re the victims.

However the reality is that some girls dump good guys as a result of they’re too good.

They’re usually passive, indecisive, and timid.

This is without doubt one of the causes that good guys usually wrestle with girls.

They don’t know how one can take management of a state of affairs and so they don’t know how one can be assertive with out being aggressive.

Another excuse why girls dump good guys is that they’re in search of somebody who will be their equal.

Many good guys are passive, indecisive, timid, and lack confidence.

They’re not usually the kind of one that can deal with the day by day challenges and stressors of life.

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Now, for a girl, all of those traits are extremely unattractive.

Normally, girls need a man who is ready to make selections, who is aware of who they’re, and feels assured in themselves.

So, in case you are a pleasant man and fighting girls, it’s vital to know why that is taking place to you.

It’s potential that it’s essential to change your conduct so as to entice girls.

For instance, if you need a lady to love you, then cease being so good!

Exit of your manner and be extra aggressive in the direction of girls.

And listening to all of the sob tales of how merciless girls have been to them up to now? There’s nothing worse for a girl than listening to that.

Good guys are determined to please

Good guys are sometimes determined to please their companion, however won’t ever be capable of do it 100%.

Furthermore, the reality is that pleasing your companion shouldn’t be your prime precedence.

As a substitute, it must be about being true to your self and understanding what you need out of life.

To be sincere, if you need to make your companion the highest precedence in your life, you’re extra prone to turn into a doormat.

Good guys are determined to please their companion, however they don’t know how one can make their companion blissful.

As a substitute of pleasing their companion, they need to be speaking what they need and wish out of the connection.

And the irony of all of it is that by being this one that desperately tries to please, they’re truly making themselves much less enticing!

Actually, there may be nothing attractive a couple of man who doesn’t have the spine to face up for himself.

Good guys are boring

Good guys are sometimes very boring as a result of they don’t know how one can loosen up and have enjoyable.

As a substitute of having fun with the second, they’re usually busy worrying about how they might have performed one thing higher.

They’re continually of their head and desirous about what they might enhance.

You see, they’re not residing within the second and are scared to do one thing dangerous.

Good guys are very rule-bound and are sometimes uptight and anxious about life.

Then again, good males aren’t rule-bound.

They’re extra like free spirits who know how one can have enjoyable and luxuriate in life.

They’re usually spontaneous and don’t must have all the things deliberate out.

They’re extra prone to do spontaneous issues and are much less prone to overthink issues and have regrets.

These traits are enticing to girls, whereas the “nice-guy traits” aren’t very interesting.

Good guys at all times search approval and validation

Good guys are sometimes very insecure and can search approval and validation from everybody.

Furthermore, this can be a signal that you just’re very depending on different folks to be ok with your self.

You don’t have sufficient confidence in your self to not want others’ approval.

Good guys have low vanity and are sometimes very essential of themselves.

They continually search for the issues in themselves and are by no means proud of what they’ve.

Good males, then again, are very assured in themselves and don’t want others’ approval.

They know what they’re good at and are very safe in themselves.

For a lady, seeing a person who continually seeks approval and validation generally is a big turn-off.

Actually, fixed approval and validation looking for isn’t enticing for anybody, not even girls!

Good guys will rush the connection

Good guys usually rush into relationships and don’t give themselves sufficient time to search out the suitable particular person.

Being in a rush received’t assist you discover the suitable particular person and can solely trigger you to make rash selections and find yourself with the mistaken particular person.

Furthermore, good guys usually make the error of falling in love with the concept of a relationship and never the precise particular person.

They fall deeply in love with the particular person they need that particular person to be and never who they really are.

It is a big mistake that can usually result in heartbreak.

And the worst half?

As a girl, when a man rushes into the connection, that may be an instantaneous lack of attraction.

You see, there may be nothing mistaken with a person understanding what he desires (you!) and going after it, however when a man is dashing a relationship, there’s a trace of desperation.

It’s as if he’s afraid to lose his alternative to have you ever as if he’s afraid that you’ll change your thoughts and determine to not be with him.

This exhibits that he doesn’t respect himself and his personal wants, and so a girl isn’t going to respect him both.

He’s a pleasant man who desires to be with a pleasant woman who doesn’t need him.

It’s unhappy however true!

Good guys are folks pleasers

Good guys are sometimes folks pleasers who put different folks’s wants and wishes above their very own.

They’re afraid of upsetting or offending anybody and are continually attempting to please others.

Folks pleasers are sometimes very horrible in relationships as a result of they at all times put their companion’s wants above their very own.

Positive, they could make you a precedence, however it’s onerous to respect somebody who doesn’t respect himself.

Whereas good males are balanced.

They put their wants and wishes first, however put their companion’s wants and wishes at the very least as a lot.

They’re able to acknowledge when they should set boundaries and rise up for themselves.

Folks-pleasing is a fairly unattractive trait for girls, so it’s no shock that good guys aren’t very enticing to many ladies.

Good guys suppose they’re good, however generally, they don’t seem to be

Good guys suppose that they’re being good, however there are occasions after they aren’t.

Oftentimes, these guys solely imagine that they’re good when in actuality, they really feel entitled to you simply because they aren’t a participant.

A real good man will do good issues for others with out anticipating something in return.

Whereas an individual who’s being good as a result of they need one thing in return is a egocentric particular person and isn’t being good out of kindness.

You’d be stunned what number of “good guys” are literally not good in any respect.

They’re simply good to get one thing from you.

For instance, if a man is sweet to you however then will get mad should you don’t wish to be with him, he isn’t good.

He’s being egocentric and solely desirous about himself.

He doesn’t care about you and your wants, he solely cares about his wants.

As a girl, when a man doesn’t specific his emotions or doesn’t provide you with any indication that he likes you (and even that he has emotions for you), there isn’t a manner of understanding what sort of particular person he actually is with out attending to know him first.

And once more, if a man says he’s good, don’t imagine him. Solely imagine his actions.


In conclusion, good guys end final as a result of they usually lack confidence, and their conduct is simply not at all times very enticing to girls.

Now: as a girl, don’t really feel dangerous should you aren’t drawn to good guys.

Frankly, there may be a whole lot of psychological energy behind this and there are the reason why you don’t really feel that spark.

How this one revelation modified my love life

It’s Justin Brown right here, the co-founder of Ideapod, and I’ve one thing to admit…

I used to imagine I wanted to achieve success earlier than I deserved to search out somebody who may love me.

I used to imagine there was a “excellent particular person” on the market and I simply needed to discover them.

I used to imagine I’d lastly be blissful as soon as I discovered “the one”.

What I now know is that these limiting beliefs had been stopping me from constructing deep and intimate relationships with the folks I used to be assembly. I used to be chasing an phantasm that was main me to loneliness.

If you wish to change something in your life, one of the efficient methods is to vary your beliefs.

Sadly, it’s not a straightforward factor to do.

I’m fortunate to have labored immediately with the shaman Rudá Iandê in altering my beliefs about love. Doing so has modified my life endlessly.

Now, Rudá’s teachings can change your life, too.

Because the co-founder of Ideapod, I’m in a singular place to have the ability to carry Rudá’s teachings to our international group.

We do that by selling his masterclasses.

Some of the highly effective masterclasses he has is the love and intimacy masterclass. On this class, Rudá breaks down his key classes on cultivating wholesome and nurturing relationships in your life.

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==> Test it out right here.

Finest needs,
Justin Brown, Ideapod Founder

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