What to do when life doesn’t go your way: a guide to survive and thrive

I nonetheless keep in mind the tattoo on the mechanic’s arm as he fastened my automotive:

Life’s a bitch and then you definitely die.

I used to be sort of impressed. Traditional, hardcore, with none frills.

Then I obtained frightened. Was he proper?

After many massive ups and downs, now ten years later I’ve to my remaining conclusion:

No, he wasn’t proper.

Right here’s why.

What to do when life doesn’t go your method: a information to outlive and thrive

Life’s going to kick all of our asses in a method or one other.

The distinction between winners and losers is who will get again up once more and who modifications their technique when an outdated methodology doesn’t work.

That is the rundown. Observe these steps and also you’ll take no matter lumps of lead life offers you and switch them into gold.

1) Face it head-on

Denial ain’t only a river in Egypt.

It’s additionally an easy factor to do when life doesn’t go your method.

Primarily it’s gaslighting your self.

For instance, say you might be in love with somebody and she or he doesn’t love you again. The ache of rejection is an excessive amount of, so that you deceive your self and go sleep with many different ladies to cowl the frustration.

Not good.

As an alternative, face the frustration head-on.

Life has not gone your method in a big method that’s harm and angered you.

Be sincere about it, as a result of in case you don’t face what’s actually disappointing you then you definitely received’t have any roadmap ahead.

2) Focus in your sphere of management

When issues don’t go your method in life, you’re clearly going to be upset and pissed off.

The pure intuition is to give attention to these issues and attempt to both drive them to go your method or suppose rather a lot about why they didn’t.

There isn’t any method to cease this response.

What you are able to do, nevertheless, is deliberately information your focus and vitality again to what’s inside your management:

Your personal actions.

Whereas the feelings and ideas you have got could also be out of your management, what’s in your management is what you do with them.

That is why it’s essential to refocus your self away from what went flawed and why it did, and start specializing in what you are able to do subsequent.

3) Discover your function in life

Life has all types of ups and downs, a lot of them out of our management.

What we will do is alter ourselves to hunt out our function and discover a roadmap for shifting ahead on this rocky street.

The concept that all of us have a function is one thing that not everybody might imagine, and even for individuals who do there are far too many charlatans and hucksters on the market making an attempt to present you a simple repair.

You realize the kind: sleazy gurus promising you’ll know your mission in life and what to do in case you simply elevate your “vibrations” or envision the right future and act as if you have already got it.

Bullshit.

I discovered in regards to the energy of discovering your function from watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden entice of enhancing your self.

Justin additionally reached some extent of confusion the place he needed to know his function, however he obtained deep into the New Age motion and was taken for a trip by dishonest gurus who tried to persuade him of the Legislation of Attraction and different concepts.

He discovered that as an alternative of manifesting his very best future, he was getting trapped in daydreams, so he made a change.

4 years in the past, he traveled to Brazil to fulfill the famend shaman Rudá Iandê, for a special perspective.

Rudá taught him a life-changing new method to discover your function and use it to remodel your life.

After watching the video, I additionally found and understood my function in life and it’s no exaggeration to say it was a turning level in my life.

Watch the free video right here.

4) Don’t take it personally

Life can go in ways in which disappoint, sadden and frustrate us.

This can be dropping a job, a companion, having a private harm or affected by every other variety of unlucky issues together with abuse, a fractured household relationship or friendship and extra.

There are simply so many issues that may go flawed in life.

Possibly you get the job of your goals however then discover out you have got a severe sickness.

Possibly you comeback from years of melancholy solely to fulfill the woman of your goals and break up together with her a 12 months later, leaving you heartbroken.

Our tendency is to take these disappointments personally: the universe or God hates me!

Nevertheless it’s not so. Like everybody else, your struggles in life are a refiner’s fireplace, and the secret’s what you do with them.

5) Be versatile, however not submissive

When life doesn’t go your method, it’s necessary to be versatile.

There may be usually a couple of method to succeed or obtain your goal in methods you didn’t foresee.

Remaining open to that, and even to getting one thing you didn’t plan for that finally ends up being better of all is among the keys to profitable in life.

The essential factor to keep away from right here is submissiveness.

Flexibility doesn’t imply you sit again and let life occur to you nevertheless it desires to.

You continue to must be proactive and action-oriented when life doesn’t go your method.

Which brings us to the following level.

6) Blaze a brand new trait

The top of 1 dream may be the beginning of a brand new one.

When one goal falls via or life goes towards you in an upsetting incidence (or lack of something occurring) this may be your probability to start out over.

If a enterprise fails, begin planning for a brand new one.

When you’re compelled to stroll away from somebody you like, start specializing in loving your self.

When you expertise a well being problem, take a look at what it might probably train you about your priorities in life.

Blaze a brand new path. This setback may be the beginning of one thing new that you simply in any other case by no means would have completed.

7) Test your expectations

Expectations may be very disappointing. They lead us on in so some ways, permitting us to construct up a fantasy world hat then falls via and leaves us much more devastated.

When you’re the sort of one that builds up expectations, do your greatest to verify your self.

Keep in mind: if in case you have low expectations they’ll solely be met or exceeded, however excessive expectations have a nasty behavior of getting crushed.

As A Aware Rethink places it:

“The issue with expectations is that none of them are notably cheap.

“An expectation is a hope sooner or later that you’ll get one thing that you really want, and we don’t at all times get what we would like.

“Generally we simply get what we get. Generally we get nothing in any respect.”

8) Apply makes good

Many instances when life lets us down it’s a probability to observe.

The record of celebrities and star athletes who had a string of failures and disappointments and accidents earlier than lastly reaching success is huge.

You don’t must be well-known or a high tier sports activities determine to study from this.

You can also select to interpret failure as disappointment as an opportunity to observe.

9) Successful vs. studying

Many instances, even once we get what we hoped for in life we quickly discover it underwhelming.

It is because usually the core of what we want is a sense state somewhat than an precise individual, place, job or so on.

The German stoic thinker Arthur Schopenhauer referred to as this the Normal Will, saying that even in case you get what you need, you’ll be able to’t need what you need.

Whether or not or not this bleak view is one thing you suppose is true, it’s definitely observable that a lot of those that outwardly achieve life find yourself feeling empty and misplaced inside.

Deal with the within and the deeper relationships you construct, particularly with your self.

10) Another person’s star?

Final and never least, be sure to’re not hoping on another person’s star.

There are occasions once we actually need one thing however don’t notice that for numerous causes it’s not in our future or not one thing we might be nicely fitted to.

Alternatively, even be cautious of denial as I warned at first.

Generally a misplaced job is only a misplaced job.

Generally rejection is rejection.

Generally you need precisely what you suppose you need and also you simply don’t get it.

Don’t beat your self up an excessive amount of: anybody could be devastated.

The secret’s in what you do subsequent and the steps you’re taking following this setback.

Adjusting your sails

When you’re charting a course via tough circumstances, you’ll be able to curse the wind or alter your sails.

I like to recommend possibility two.

Be sincere about the issue or setback you’ve confronted. Then take motion to repair it.

Whether it is totally out of your management, meditate on it and permit your self to change into stronger via persistence and acceptance of ache or disappointment you’ll be able to’t keep away from.

You’ll get via this and see a brighter day.