9 Probable Reasons You Still Think About Your Ex

Going by way of a breakup might be extraordinarily distressing; it could fill you with self-doubt, anger, sorrow, and in some circumstances even regret. The emotional upheaval could cause innumerable questions to lift their heads lengthy after you’ve moved into a greater relationship than the final one. In case you typically end up caught with the million-dollar query, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex?”, you then’re not alone.

Enthusiastic about your ex, repeatedly, will not be uncommon since it’s human nature to check the previous with the current. You may need discovered your self in a quandary, questioning, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex when I’ve somebody new?” Letting go of a previous relationship is rarely as simply executed as it’s stated. Allow us to put our heads collectively to ponder over the possible causes you retain on going again to your ex (fortunately, solely in your thoughts!).

9 Possible Causes You Nonetheless Suppose About Your Ex

Being caught in a timeless loop of the great ol’ days, reminiscing about your ex, can get actually annoying to the purpose of you exasperatingly asking your self, “What are these long-lost recollections popping into my head? Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex after 10 years?” (sure, an ex can proceed to hang-out you even after 10 years!) Your emotions to your ex can linger on longer than you’ll have ever thought, for a thousand causes you’ll have by no means imagined. Allow us to get to the center of the matter that can assist you comprehend, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex?”

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1. The X-factor in your ex

One of the crucial simple causes for desirous about your ex once more might be little issues that you simply loved probably the most in your earlier relationship however are lacking in your current one. It might be compatibility, consolation, ardour, chemistry in your relationship, or anything! Since you’ve skilled that fiery relationship earlier than, you proceed to lengthy for it.

Considered one of my dearest mates, Liz, has been in an unbelievable relationship for the final 2 years. Whereas she is grateful for every part that she has discovered being in love with Sam, she retains on returning to what she as soon as had. Throughout one in every of our evening outs, she confessed, “I nonetheless take into consideration my ex however I’ve a boyfriend. I miss the camaraderie we had, I miss how we acquired alongside like a home on hearth.” You see my level right here? You may need every part that you simply ever wished for in your relationship, however there would nonetheless be that one factor that will maintain you eager for extra (and that’s invariably the factor that was the perfect half about your failed relationship together with your ex).

2. You might be nonetheless following them

Once we say you’re following them, we don’t imply to say that you’re stalking them bodily (or possibly we’re). Following them on social media platforms to maintain tabs on them will finally lead you to consider them in innumerable methods. If you’re somebody who questions, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex after 10 years?”, the reply lies in your Instagram. You haven’t eliminated them out of your life utterly. You might be nonetheless a witness to their existence, their life experiences, and unwittingly inviting them into your ideas as effectively.

Holding an everyday test in your ex can truly do you extra hurt than good. It might make you sulk desirous about your ex once more, particularly whenever you see them transferring on after the breakup. {Couples} who half methods following a foul tiff usually tend to really feel distressed and even jealous on seeing their ex getting hitched. Both method, conserving your previous reference to them intact by way of social media might be one of many sturdy causes you’re permitting your ex room in your ideas.

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3. You miss the individual you was once in your ex’s firm

Do you typically surprise: why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex? Let me inform you, it’s not your ex that you’re lacking; you’re lacking the individual that you had been in your previous relationship. It’s an indisputable fact that each relationship and accomplice is totally different; likewise, we change into a unique model of ourselves within the firm of various folks. You miss your “self” from the previous relationship greater than your earlier accomplice.

You may need been extra carefree and spunky in your earlier relationship, whereas now you may need change into a extra accommodating and understanding accomplice. A colleague of mine, Jane, discovered herself in an analogous scenario and she or he was cautious sufficient to establish the basis trigger. When she couldn’t assist however return to the ideas of her previous flame every so often, she deduced, “I nonetheless take into consideration my ex when I’ve somebody new, as a result of I miss who I was with him. I used to be a lot extra comfy in my pores and skin than I’m now. Despite the fact that her current relationship goes regular, she hasn’t reduce the psychological wire together with her final one.”

Getting over your ex can be difficult
Getting over your ex might be tough

4. You didn’t get closure after the breakup

“My sudden breakup struck me onerous like a bolt from the blue. He didn’t trouble to clarify what went improper… we may have labored on it collectively,” rues my neighbor, Ruth. The lingering feeling of loss, ache, and angst is obvious in her tone. “And now…,” she continued, “I nonetheless take into consideration my ex however I’ve a boyfriend.” That is what lack of closure does to you. Your mind is traumatized by the sudden emotional turmoil and it seeks an evidence to your breakup by taking you again to the previous recollections. You might be desirous about your ex once more as a result of your mind is burdened with this sudden ghosting.

In case you haven’t had closure after a breakup, you will see that the method of letting go very cumbersome. The transition may appear unacceptable with none finality even after 10 years down the lane. And, as soon as once more you may end up in a conundrum: why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex after 10 years? It’s the absent closure, my good friend, that doesn’t allow you to recover from your ex.

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5. You might have some nice recollections to return to

We perceive that your earlier relationship wasn’t a mattress of roses or it wouldn’t have reached a useless finish. Equally comprehensible is the truth that you two have made some nice recollections collectively, recollections that stay near your coronary heart, enveloping you of their heat, providing you with butterflies in your abdomen. It’s due to these particular moments spent collectively that you simply maintain revisiting your previous, after which, ask your self, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex?”

It might be the little milestones achieved collectively, the celebratory events, the candy levels of the connection, the small obstacles confronted collectively, or some other particular recollections that maintain your ex recent and alive in your thoughts. When you end up desirous about your ex, you want to remind your self, “It’s due to the recollections that I nonetheless take into consideration my ex when I’ve somebody new.” Having stated that, it’s also important to grasp that it’s completely regular to relive these particular moments; nice recollections are supposed to be cherished ceaselessly and your ex is usually a wholesome a part of your reminiscences.

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6. Underestimating your self and desirous about your ex once more

You constantly undermine your self-worth, wallowing in self-doubt. You search refuge within the acquainted territory and return to the great occasions you have got spent in your relationship. “I nonetheless take into consideration my ex however I’ve a boyfriend”, says Tania. She admits how she struggled with low shallowness following her breakup, contemplating herself to be the explanation behind it. Cautious of moving into a brand new relationship, lest she may find yourself feeling like a loser, she stored on holding on to the time spent together with her ex.

Suffering from previous experiences, your confidence caves in and also you consider patching up together with your ex. You assume you had the perfect accomplice one can ever have, and the onus of dropping them is on you, so that you attempt to mend the methods and repair the connection. As these ideas of self-doubt make their method in, you get additional embroiled within the ideas of your ex, setting off the entire why-do-i-still-think-about-my-ex confusion.

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7. You retain on evaluating the current with the previous

Questioning, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex when I’ve somebody new?” One of many causes might be that you’re holding your ex as a yardstick to measure your current accomplice in opposition to. Despite the fact that you have got moved on after your breakup, you by no means actually acquired over them. You continue to take a look at them by way of the rose-tinted glasses, secretly wishing your accomplice to match as much as the requirements set by your ex. The comparability turns into much more pronounced whenever you disapprove of one thing in your present accomplice.

Your accomplice cracks a joke which you don’t discover humorous and you’re immediately reminded of your ex whose humorousness resonated intently with yours. The reply to your query, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex?”, lies in your expectations out of your accomplice being outlined by your expertise in your previous relationship. In circumstances of rebound relationships, the earlier requirements are extra typically revisited, making you concentrate on your ex again and again.

8. You might be but to simply accept the cruel actuality

Breakups are tough to simply accept, not to mention recover from. Coming to phrases with the truth that it’s all over is certainly distressing and painful however that doesn’t make it any much less of a actuality. One of many causes you’re not in a position to get your ex off your thoughts might be that you’re but to simply accept the truth that there’s nothing left to be executed with this relationship. Your harmless coronary heart strings strum to sing a melodious tune out of the raucous conflict. You aren’t able to acknowledge the tip of the connection and are nonetheless attempting to offer it a final strive. A sudden breakup is sort of a bitter capsule: you don’t understand how bitter it’s except you style it, and when you do, it appears not possible to swallow.

Dwelling in denial provides you no resolution and also you solely find yourself being in a muddle of desirous about your ex once more. It’s good to settle for the actual fact and attempt to transfer on, lest you end up ruing, “I nonetheless take into consideration my ex when I’ve somebody new.”

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9. Your breakup has been an enormous turning level

Your breakup has led to an necessary flip of occasions that left a long-lasting impression on you. It’s at least a watershed second for you. Your life is rarely going to be the identical once more. No mushy talks, no late-night conversations, no date nights, and positively nobody to name a accomplice. However as they are saying, previous habits die onerous. It’s subsequent to not possible so that you can think about your life with out the routine surrounding your relationship.

Whilst you attempt to settle into a brand new relationship, the set previous patterns are inclined to hang-out you. You involuntarily decide up the patterns decided by your earlier relationship and as soon as once more you’re left to ponder over the rhetorical query, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex when I’ve somebody new?” Nevertheless, it must be acknowledged that every one that is pure; it’s pure for the human thoughts to hunt solace within the acquainted and cozy.

Now that you’ve the reply to your query, “Why do I nonetheless take into consideration my ex?”, you have to have perceived the workings of your thoughts and coronary heart in a unique mild. Which one of many above causes is it that forces you into desirous about your ex once more? Though it might be something that triggers previous recollections, what’s value noticing right here is its impression on you and your current relationship.


1. What does it imply whenever you maintain desirous about your ex?

“I nonetheless take into consideration my ex however I’ve a boyfriend” – this assertion holds no that means if you’re true to your current love. It’s not uncommon for folks to check their companions with everybody, together with their ex. You may be desirous about your ex once more, however you understand no matter occurred, occurred for the great. Your previous relationship has come to an finish as a result of the 2 of you mutually selected this.

2. Is it regular to not be capable of cease desirous about your ex?

Sure, it’s completely regular, and as we stated, it’s in human nature to check the previous with the current. I nonetheless take into consideration my ex however I’ve a boyfriend and it’s completely acceptable. There’s nothing improper with desirous about your ex once more so long as it doesn’t hamper your current relationship.  

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