16 blatant signs a married man is using you (and what to do next)

We generally embrace merchandise we expect are helpful for our readers. When you purchase by way of hyperlinks on this web page, we could earn a small fee. Learn our affiliate disclosure.


Are you seeing a married man?

It may be an thrilling, intense and generally hair-raising expertise.

One second you assume he’s actually in love with you, the following you’re feeling he couldn’t care much less about you.

Listed here are the highest indicators that you just’ll by no means be something greater than a diversion for a married man.

Be careful for these disturbing indicators.

16 blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you

1) He doesn’t confide in you in any respect

One of many worst blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he stays a closed e-book.

Even when you’ve been seeing one another for months, he’s past your attain emotionally.

He could make the one offhand remark at times about his life.

Or let you know some fundamental biographical particulars.

However he’s kind of off limits to you when it comes to his deeper ideas, emotions and personal life.

He simply exhibits up on the lookout for a enjoyable and intimate time with you after which geese out quickly after.

Even instances you spend collectively that last more, it’s possible you’ll end up reflecting and notice that it was solely actually you who opened up.

That form of a one-sided association isn’t sufficient to fulfill anybody.

2) He solely calls when he needs intercourse

Essentially the most disturbing of the blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is when he solely calls you for intercourse.

He’s candy as pie when he’s getting what he needs.

However when you’re not within the temper or are busy when he’s frisky, immediately the appeal switches off.

He goes chilly on you.

He could not return requires quite a few days, or offer you a wan smile while you subsequent see him.

These sorts of juvenile and poisonous video games are sufficient to drive anybody mad and make you wish to reduce off contact utterly.

The issue is that when you’ve developed some emotions for him, it’s possible you’ll discover that a lot simpler stated than finished.

Intercourse with anyone you care about and respect could also be an amazing expertise, however it’s so much totally different when you may see that it’s purely transactional and bodily for him.

3) You’re feeling like rubbish round him

Some of the blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that you just really feel like rubbish round him.

He treats you want a discardable object.

When he’s finished with you, you’re feeling like a e-book that’s been put again on the shelf in a darkish nook, musty and alone.

You then begin getting down about ever assembly somebody who will really respect and deserve you.

I get it, imagine me…

Have you ever ever requested your self why love is so arduous?

Why can’t or not it’s the way you imagined rising up? Or at the very least make some sense…

While you’re coping with being utilized by a married man, it’s simple to grow to be pissed off and even really feel helpless.

Chances are you’ll even be tempted to throw within the towel and quit on love.

I wish to counsel doing one thing totally different.

I would like you to take a look at love in a totally new means, as this free video from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê teaches.

This isn’t your standard feel-good claptrap. That is actual recommendation from the guts, and it’s from a man who’s been by way of lots of the identical struggles in relationships as everybody else.

4) He has no plans to go away his spouse for you

Asking or anticipating a married man to go away his spouse for you’ll often finish in bitter disappointment.

It’s fairly uncommon.

However that doesn’t imply {that a} man can’t be tempted.

When he’s really falling for you and appreciating your organization, he’s going to have a tough time turning you down for one thing extra critical.

That’s why one of many blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he doesn’t even faux to think about altering his life for you.

Each second with him is crystal clear that this only a dalliance.

There’s not even a touch of temptation for him to show his life the wrong way up.

He’s received you filed away in simply the suitable class.

You’re a facet piece, and he’d by no means take into consideration making massive modifications to be with you.

Not precisely comforting to know, is it?

5) He makes use of you as an emotional receptacle

Along with utilizing you as a bodily receptacle (yuck), a married man who’s solely benefiting from you’ll unload on you emotionally.

This could embrace continuously complaining and venting to you…

Crawling to you when he’s down and anticipating to be cared for and stroked like slightly seal pup…

And in any other case demanding that you just present consolation, recommendation and encouragement to him as he goes by way of the ups and downs of life.

That is codependent and slimy conduct on his half if he’s by no means returning the favor.

Whether it is mutual and also you’re discovering the bond significant, that’s honest sufficient, however needless to say if it’s very one-sided that’s often intentional on his half.

He needs you there for him when he’s down, however if you find yourself, he’s one million miles away.

6) He leads you on to get intercourse and intimacy

A twist on the earlier factors is when a married man is barely in it for the intercourse and the emotional consolation, however he hints at one thing extra and leads you on.

He can let you know’re extra hooked up than he’s, so he stokes these merciless hopes as a approach to get an limitless provide of intimacy from you.

It is a fairly cynical factor to do, and hopefully you’re not going by way of it.

However needless to say some cheaters are fairly shadowy individuals, they usually can interact in some actually emotionally manipulative conduct.

I’m not saying that is true of all married males who cheat, however it’s definitely a conduct that a few of them interact in.

They benefit from you hoping for one thing extra, dropping hints that they “may” wish to sometime as effectively…

However all they’re actually doing is hitting the snooze button.

Emotional manipulation is a standard trait in narcissistic individuals, and when you’re coping with a married man who’s doing issues like this, you might be greatest suggested to get far-off from him ASAP.

7) He ignores what you say to him

One other one of many massive and blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he ignores what you say.

He doesn’t keep in mind, he hardly ever makes eye contact and he often solely shrugs, grunts or says issues like “yeah, completely” and “for certain” to no matter you’re saying.

If he’s appearing like this, he doesn’t give a fig.

You possibly can inform your self it’s simply his sturdy and slent kind of character.

However within the overwhelming majority of circumstances it’s a person who doesn’t care about you and is simply utilizing you as a little bit of enjoyable on the facet.

If he simply doesn’t care what you’re saying or listen, don’t make excuses for him.

Possibly he did have a busy day, perhaps he’s harassed, perhaps he has had just a few too many drinks.

But when he needed to pay attention, he would.

Harsh however true.

8) He typically cancels your conferences on the final minute

One of many different blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is when he continuously cancels on you on the final minute.

He places his spouse and household forward of you, which will be comprehensible.

However he additionally places his work forward of you…

His good friend’s birthday…

An unique sale at a retailer he loves that’s just one for at the moment…

And no matter else he must do for the time being from an oil change to a haircut.

You come final, and also you’re an afterthought.

He doesn’t even attempt to conceal it, though he could attempt to exaggerate the significance of what he’s canceling on you for.

Don’t settle for these sorts of excuses.

If he’s preserving you as a backup plan and canceling on you on a regular basis, you’ve gotten a proper to place your foot down and let him understand it’s not a means you enable your self to be handled.

9) Get an outdoor perspective

There are some conditions that may get very messy, particularly when a married man is concerned.

Buddies of mine who received into these sorts of affairs actually went by way of the wringer.

Need recommendation particular to your scenario?

Whereas this text explores the principle indicators a married man is utilizing you, it may be useful to talk to a relationship coach about your scenario.

With knowledgeable relationship coach, you will get recommendation particular to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a web site the place extremely educated relationship coaches assist individuals by way of sophisticated and tough love conditions, like falling for a married man.

They’re a extremely popular useful resource for individuals dealing with this type of problem, they usually’re not judgmental or shallow.

How do I do know?

Nicely, I reached out to them just a few months in the past after I was going by way of a troublesome patch in my very own relationship.

After being misplaced in my ideas for therefore lengthy, they gave me a singular perception into the dynamics of my relationship and methods to get it again on observe.

They advised me some arduous truths, however additionally they gave some excellent news about methods to sort out my issues from a unique approach that I hadn’t been anticipating.

I used to be blown away by how type, empathetic, and genuinely useful my coach was.

In just some minutes you may join with a licensed relationship coach and get tailored recommendation to your scenario.

Click on right here to get began.

10) He retains you a secret even from his buddies

When you’re seeing a married man then it stands to cause that he needs to maintain it discreet.

If he hasn’t advised his spouse and also you two are having a bootleg affair, then he has each cause to verify your time collectively stays low key.

Nonetheless, one of many blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he’s utterly obsessive about preserving you a secret.

He doesn’t introduce you even when his greatest good friend video calls whereas he’s with you, or he’ll deny realizing you when you share mutual buddies.

When you work collectively, he could deliberately act like he doesn’t such as you or has no concept who you might be.

He may studiously keep away from going out with you in public, consuming in public and principally going anyplace you possibly can be seen by somebody who is aware of he’s a married man.

He may spray tan or use make-up the place his ring was or do different bizarrely finicky issues to cover that he’s married in case even a lodge receptionist notices.

In brief: he tries so arduous to cover any reference to you that it’s virtually like he’s ashamed.

And perhaps he’s ashamed: of dishonest, of you, of being caught.

However that’s so much to reside with, and being the thing of this type of disgrace can result in loads of points.

11) He asks you for actually massive favors so much

This merchandise will be true in a number of situations. It’s very true while you’re speaking a few married man who you’re seeing.

The reason being that as a married man he isn’t making a dedication to you.

But he nonetheless asks you for giant favors very often.

This could embrace:

  • Loans of cash
  • Rides to get locations
  • Recommendation on essential and time-sensitive points
  • Medical assist or recommendation
  • Help in shopping for groceries or merchandise
  • Assist transferring, cleansing or doing different duties

If he’s received you in these sorts of roles, then his favors have grow to be a bit excessive.

Irrespective of how a lot you want him, contemplate the “commerce stability.”

Do you ever ask him for favors? If that’s the case, what’s the approximate ratio?

12) He by no means makes you a precedence, even as soon as

As I discussed earlier, one of many high most blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he at all times places you final.

It’s vital to say that this can be a pattern which can happen slowly.

At first there could also be no actual scenario the place you discover how he thinks of you or how a lot of a precedence you might be.

The instances that he turns down assembly attributable to being busy or having one other dedication are one thing you don’t take personally, and you progress on.

However as your time with this man will increase and also you begin to have emotions, take note of the place you might be on the pecking order.

It’s widespread for romantic emotions to generally blind us to goal details.

Manipulators know this, which is why they so typically make lame excuses for his or her errant conduct and people in love settle for them.

If a married man is utilizing you, you’ll know as a result of he by no means makes you a precedence.

Even when you want pressing assist or have an emergency, you’ll discover that he passes you off to another person or tells you to name the authorities.

13) He’s sexually irresponsible and reckless at your expense

One other one of many unlucky and blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he’s sexually reckless.

What do I imply by this?

I imply that he doesn’t care about utilizing safety, barely pays consideration about precautions it’s possible you’ll or will not be taking and kind of doesn’t appear to care about discussing sexual security.

Chances are you’ll level out that this can be a threat for him too if he doesn’t know you effectively, and that’s completely true.

If a person doesn’t appear to care about utilizing safety or being pregnant you must surprise what number of different ladies he’s appearing this fashion in the direction of as effectively.

On the identical time, his lack of concern to your wellbeing exhibits that you just’re not more than a intercourse toy for him.

If he doesn’t appear to care in any respect about being sexually accountable, this isn’t a person you wish to spend an excessive amount of time round except he radically shifts his methods.

14) He brazenly checks out and flirts with different ladies round you

One other one of many blatant indicators a married man is utilizing you is that he checks out different ladies when he’s round you.

Extra to the purpose, if he’s dishonest on you in addition to his spouse, it’s much more proof that you just don’t imply a lot to him and he doesn’t have a lot respect for you.

Nonetheless, it may be tougher to search out out whether or not he’s dishonest on you, too.

For that cause, take note of his conduct while you meet different ladies or cross them.

If he’s brazenly checking them out and measuring their curves along with his eyes, this man is just not very all for you past what’s beneath your lingerie.

You can also make all the justifications you need, but when he was actually all for attending to know you and valuing you as a human being, his consideration wouldn’t instantly be diverted by different engaging ladies he crossed paths with.

15) He expects you to at all times be accessible for him

When you’re seeing a married man, one factor is evident: he has loads of constraints based mostly on being married and particularly if he has youngsters.

When you’re single, you presumably are extra open to reply his calls, texts and messages.

However that doesn’t imply you’re only a free-for-all buffet.

You continue to have commitments, you continue to have days you don’t really feel effectively, and you continue to have last-minute issues and crises which come up and result in canceling.

That’s why it’s simply not affordable for him to count on you to at all times be accessible.

And if he’s, you have to get him to do a actuality examine and notice that simply because he has much less time and availability, it doesn’t imply he can deal with you want one thing he orders on Uber Eats.

16) He withholds his time and a focus when you aren’t into intercourse

Withholding intercourse to control your associate is a tragic factor.

It occurs in critical relationships, marriages, and likewise in affairs.

If you’re seeing a married man who’s simply utilizing you for intercourse and firm, he’ll typically do that.

He’ll withhold his time and firm when you don’t give him your physique.

It’s revolting and transactional, and it’s not too arduous to identify.

When you discover that this man is holding again his availability while you maintain again on intimacy, it’s almost certainly what’s taking place.

He rations out his time and a focus while you give him bodily affection.

If that’s taking place, relaxation assured that you’re getting used and likewise being disrespected and valued at a low stage.

What to do subsequent…

When you’re being utilized by a married man, I don’t envy you.

Being utilized in hookups and even emotionally is one factor, however when a person is utilizing you each bodily and emotionally whereas having zero intent of ever committing, it could go away you feeling terribly pissed off and empty.

Earlier I really useful watching a free video from the shaman Rudá Iandê.

He taught me that the best way to search out love and intimacy is just not what we’ve got been culturally conditioned to imagine.

In reality, many people self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, getting in the best way of assembly a associate who can really fulfill us.

As Rudá explains in his thoughts blowing free video, many people chase love in a poisonous means that finally ends up stabbing us within the again.

We get caught in terrible relationships or empty encounters, by no means actually discovering what we’re on the lookout for and persevering with to really feel horrible about issues like discovering the suitable man however within the flawed scenario.

And the place might that be extra true than while you’re beginning to have emotions for a married man?

Right here’s the factor: Rudá genuinely will get it.

Whereas watching, I felt like somebody understood my struggles to search out and nurture love for the primary time – and eventually supplied an precise, sensible answer to feeling utilized by lovers and romantic companions.

When you’re finished with unsatisfying courting, empty hookups, irritating relationships and having your hopes dashed again and again, then this can be a message you have to hear.

I assure you’ll not be upset by what Rudá has to say.

Click on right here to observe the free video.

Can a relationship coach assist you to too?

If you’d like particular recommendation in your scenario, it may be very useful to talk to a relationship coach.

I do know this from private expertise…

A couple of months in the past, I reached out to Relationship Hero after I was going by way of a troublesome patch in my relationship. After being misplaced in my ideas for therefore lengthy, they gave me a singular perception into the dynamics of my relationship and methods to get it again on observe.

When you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero earlier than, it’s a web site the place extremely educated relationship coaches assist individuals by way of sophisticated and tough love conditions.

In just some minutes you may join with a licensed relationship coach and get tailored recommendation to your scenario.

I used to be blown away by how type, empathetic, and genuinely useful my coach was.

Click on right here to get began.

  • Leave Comments