11 signs your ex is stringing you along (and what to do about it)

We generally embody merchandise we predict are helpful for our readers. For those who purchase by means of hyperlinks on this web page, we could earn a small fee. Learn our affiliate disclosure.


Are you again in touch along with your ex? Even perhaps casually relationship?

Possibly you’ve begun reigning the flame of affection with them once more and also you’re unsure in the event that they’re one hundred pc severe about it.

In any case:

They let you know that they such as you and so they need to begin issues up as soon as extra however you’ve acquired this nagging feeling that they don’t actually imply it.

It sucks, doesn’t it? You want them, however you don’t need to pursue one thing with them if it’s not going to guide wherever.

So let’s dig a bit deeper and discover out in the event that they actually need to date you once more, or if they’re simply stringing you alongside.

Listed below are 11 indicators your ex is clearly stringing you alongside. After that, we’ll speak about what to do about it.

1. They’re solely seeing you when it’s handy for them

Let’s be trustworthy for a second:

In case your ex is really severe about you, they’d find time for you. They wouldn’t simply see you on a Saturday as a result of “they had been going out anyway”.

They’d plan a date and make it particular. They’d put you up excessive on their listing of priorities. They wouldn’t put consuming with the boys increased than spending time with you.

If they’re solely seeing you on their phrases, it’s an indication they aren’t that severe and so they’re attempting to maintain you round as an choice.

2. They make plans however by no means observe by means of

Let’s say you two made plans to hang around on a Saturday evening.

You’re trying ahead to it and also you’re excited to see one another, however… on the precise day of the date, they only don’t present up or provide you with a lame excuse as to why they aren’t obtainable. “Sorry babe, I can’t make the film right now, my sister is sick. How about subsequent weekend?”

In case your date has made plans with you on a number of events solely to blow them off, that’s a HUGE signal that they aren’t that severe.

Planning to spend time collectively is one factor but when they aren’t truly following by means of, it’s a giant purple flag.

3. They don’t ask about your life, solely in regards to the issues that occur inside their scope of affect

Your ex ought to be keen on listening to about what’s happening in your life no matter whether or not it impacts them or not. What if you happen to’re going by means of a tricky time at work? They need to care.

Possibly you’re shifting, or your loved ones is on the brink of go away on trip, or your canine is sick and also you don’t know what to do.

It doesn’t matter what it’s, in the event that they actually need to find out about it then they need to need to be part of it. They’d need to assist and be helpful.

4. They’re emotionally unavailable

For those who’ve ever dated an emotionally unavailable particular person, you realize precisely what I’m speaking about.

It’s possible you’ll be round them on a regular basis and do all the pieces you may to make your self helpful but it surely doesn’t matter as a result of they shut you out on the first signal of battle.

They don’t need to choose up the cellphone, clarify themselves or hang around. They only need to conceal away of their room and faux they’re not damage.

In the event that they don’t present you that they’re able to being weak with you, it’s an indication they’re stringing you alongside.

Whenever you need to be in a dedicated relationship, it’s important to be open and trustworthy with one another. That’s simply how it’s. You don’t keep away from getting shut.

5. They don’t ask you about your day

Whenever you genuinely like somebody, you may’t assist however be keen on what is going on of their life.

In any case:

That is the particular person you’ve got a crush on! You need to know what makes them tick. You need to find out about their job, their life, their household.

Neglect about being needy…studying about your crush is fascinating! And if you happen to’re not fascinated, then you definately’re clearly not in love.

So in case your ex by no means asks you ways your day went or by no means actually listens once you speak, it’s a giant signal that they aren’t keen on getting near you.

6. They don’t get jealous

This goes hand in hand with them being keen on your life.

In the event that they don’t get jealous once you speak about your ex-boyfriend or the lovable woman at work, likelihood is they’re not into you.

I do know, I do know, isn’t jealously a poisonous emotion?

Not essentially. It truly exhibits that you simply care about somebody. Clearly, you don’t need somebody that acts irrationally once they really feel jealous, but it surely’s vital that they at the very least really feel that jealously.

In case your ex simply doesn’t get jealous in any respect, then that’s a purple flag that they don’t genuinely care about you.

They might be stringing you alongside whereas they search for a greater deal, or they only aren’t that into you and need to transfer on to the subsequent one that will give them affection.

7. They always put you down

Have you ever ever been in a relationship the place your accomplice always put you down?

Possibly they had been extra keen on telling you learn how to do issues than they had been in truly serving to you.

Possibly they referred to as you out in your flaws and made enjoyable of the issues that make you who you might be.

It’s a horrible state of affairs to be in.

However you realize what else?

It additionally signifies that they don’t genuinely such as you for who you might be. They’re not severe about their emotions for you.

As a substitute, they’ve acquired this poisonous have to be in management.

So in case your ex is placing you down and making you’re feeling dangerous, then not solely is {that a} signal that you simply in all probability don’t need to be in a relationship with them, however additionally they aren’t severe about creating a genuinely loving relationship with you.

8. They don’t deliver up your future

Have you ever had conversations along with your ex that by no means actually go wherever?

Do you by no means actually get to speaking about what you’re each searching for in a relationship, or what you need to do collectively?

Possibly they only preserve speaking about themselves and their life however by no means ask about yours.

That’s a giant signal of somebody who’s stringing you alongside.

They know the connection just isn’t going wherever, in order that they aren’t that invested.

And once they don’t need to speak about what your future seems to be like or what you need in a relationship, then likelihood is they don’t see a lot potential within the relationship.

9. They don’t fulfill any of your wants

In case your ex is just fulfilling half of what you want from them, then it’s an indication that they’re stringing you alongside.

That you must really feel heard and understood. That you must see the identical curiosity in your life as you’ve got in theirs.

That you must be cherished and reassured that somebody is on our aspect.

Your ex ought to be assembly all of those wants for you so in the event that they aren’t doing that…it’s a giant purple flag that their emotions for you might be shallow at finest.

10. They don’t deliver up their emotions for you

That is tough as a result of in case your ex doesn’t know the way they really feel about you, then it may very well be a matter of them not realizing what they need out of the connection, or they don’t know learn how to talk their emotions.

But when they’re actually dangerous at speaking with you and at all times need to conceal what they’re pondering, then likelihood is there’s something incorrect with their coronary heart.

In the event that they don’t need to speak about what you imply to them, then their emotions for you might be in all probability not real.

11. They don’t make you’re feeling particular

This ought to be the simplest one to determine as a result of in case your ex doesn’t make you’re feeling such as you’re particular or like they care about you, then they’re in all probability not that severe about you.

In a wholesome relationship, your accomplice ought to present you day by day that they genuinely love you and need to be with you.

If there is no such thing as a effort on their half to present you reassurance or the romantic gestures that make your coronary heart flutter, then they don’t actually such as you.

It’s a tricky cookie to listen to, however it’s important to settle for it.

In case your ex doesn’t present that they care about you, then it’s time to maneuver on.

However if you happen to can’t transfer on, then we’ll go over some methods you may cease your ex from stringing you alongside and you’ll lastly transfer on.

What to do when your ex is stringing you alongside

So that you suppose the man you’re seeing is perhaps stringing you alongside.

You need to know what to do about it however don’t know the way!

Properly, that’s what this part is for.

1. Preserve checking in on him and make it possible for he needs the identical factor as you do.

If the person you might be pursuing is stringing you alongside then he in all probability doesn’t need what YOU need.

Pay shut consideration and make it possible for it is a actual relationship and never simply one thing informal.

That is the place searching for the indicators will come in useful. You don’t need to proceed relationship somebody who’s main you on, so it’s vital to get on high of what your ex is pondering.

So, what you are able to do?

Have an trustworthy dialog with them. Allow them to know that you simply actually desire a long-term relationship.

Set some boundaries with them and make it possible for they’re on the identical web page as you might be.

Be trustworthy about the truth that you might be prepared for one thing severe. In the event that they’re not, then allow them to go.

Keep in mind, you need to be with somebody who needs to decide to you and never somebody who’s stringing you alongside.

2. Cease accepting their excuses.

There comes some extent the place sufficient is sufficient. If it’s a continuing excuse and excuse then it is advisable to know when to maneuver on, or at the very least instantly inform them how you’re feeling so you may see how they reply.

The one who is stringing you alongside will need to preserve issues the best way they’re in order that they offers you excuses as an alternative of solutions.

They’ll let you know that they will’t commit proper now however perhaps sooner or later they’ll have the ability to provide you with an actual relationship. They’ll let you know that they don’t need to rush issues and that it is advisable to wait.

Don’t settle for any excuses or ultimatums from them.

In the event that they preserve making excuses, then they’re not prepared for a dedication and it is advisable to transfer on.

3. Preserve your requirements excessive

Keep in mind, the one that is stringing you alongside won’t ever commit regardless of how a lot time goes by.

It’s because they don’t need to get hooked up. They’ll at all times keep informal with you in order that they will go away you every time they need.

Don’t settle for any excuses from them, and preserve your requirements excessive.

You deserve somebody who needs to decide to you for the long-term, not somebody who’s stringing you alongside.

At all times preserve that on the entrance of your thoughts. You deserve an actual relationship and to not be strung alongside.

In the event that they’re exhibiting no indicators of change, then allow them to go and discover another person who’s prepared for one thing actual.

4. Ask your self if they’re the one for you.

All of us need to be liked and really feel liked and it is a primary human want.

It’s why we fall in love with somebody who makes us really feel particular and distinctive.

For those who’re not feeling liked, then search elsewhere and ensure that you might be prepared for a long-term relationship earlier than you agree down with somebody who doesn’t need the identical factor as you do.

Do you actually like them and are they the proper particular person for you?

Do your finest and have a look at them from exterior of the romance. Ask your self if you happen to suppose it’s actually a good suggestion to proceed the connection with him or not.

It’s crucial that you’ve a proper reply, in any other case, you’re going to get in hassle sooner or later when issues don’t go properly along with your relationship!

Now if you happen to can’t recover from them and also you don’t need to transfer on, then it is advisable to ask your self:

“How can I get my ex to decide to me over the lengthy haul?”

On this state of affairs, there’s just one factor to do – re-spark their romantic curiosity in you.

I discovered about this from Brad Browning, who has helped 1000’s of women and men get their exes again. He goes by the moniker of “the connection geek”, for good purpose.

On this free video, he’ll present you precisely what you are able to do to make your ex need you once more.

It doesn’t matter what your state of affairs is — or how badly you’ve tousled because the two of you broke up — he’ll provide you with quite a lot of helpful suggestions which you can apply instantly.

Right here’s a hyperlink to his free video once more. For those who really need your ex again, this video will allow you to do that.

Can a relationship coach allow you to too?

In order for you particular recommendation in your state of affairs, it may be very useful to talk to a relationship coach.

I do know this from private expertise…

A number of months in the past, I reached out to Relationship Hero once I was going by means of a tricky patch in my relationship. After being misplaced in my ideas for therefore lengthy, they gave me a singular perception into the dynamics of my relationship and learn how to get it again on observe.

For those who haven’t heard of Relationship Hero earlier than, it’s a website the place extremely educated relationship coaches assist individuals by means of difficult and troublesome love conditions.

In only a few minutes you may join with a licensed relationship coach and get tailored recommendation to your state of affairs.

I used to be blown away by how sort, empathetic, and genuinely useful my coach was.

Click on right here to get began.

Did you want my article? Like me on Fb to see extra articles like this in your feed.

  • Leave Comments