10 things to do when your girlfriend is codependent with someone else

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Do you could have a codependent girlfriend who’s codependent with one other particular person?

Though this is likely to be regarding, it isn’t distinctive to her.

In truth, codependency is kind of a typical phenomenon and it describes an individual who has a deep-rooted dependency on an individual who isn’t able to return the favor.

However what in case your girlfriend is codependent not with you however with another person?

This could be a difficult scenario so that you can navigate.

Thankfully, there are various issues you are able to do to assist your girlfriend with this downside.

Listed here are 10 issues you are able to do in case your girlfriend is codependent with another person.

1) Don’t ignore it

Need to know the worst factor you are able to do when your girlfriend is codependent with another person?

Ignoring it.

Maybe unexpectedly, ignoring the issue you and your girlfriend are dealing with will solely make issues worse in your relationship.

Should you ignore it, your girlfriend would possibly really feel that she isn’t being taken severely, and this could result in her partaking in additional unhealthy habits.

The consequence?

She would possibly have interaction in actions with different folks to compensate for the shortage of intimacy you two have.

Not surprisingly, this may be very damaging for each of you as a result of it could possibly result in many issues sooner or later.

So, ignoring that your girlfriend is codependent on another person is one thing it is best to keep away from.

As a substitute, you must be prepared to face the reality and settle for that she wants assist. Why?

Properly, as a result of should you ignore her emotions, her habits will proceed. She is going to hold being a sufferer and an enabler of different folks’s issues. And you’ll be enabling a foul relationship. You would possibly even be in it as properly.

However you recognize what?

Observing and acknowledging your girlfriend’s codependency with another person will enable you to to grasp that she has an issue.

Nevertheless, don’t be too laborious on her for this subject.

As a substitute, give her the good thing about the doubt and attempt to perceive why she is likely to be codependent with another person.

So don’t ignore her codependent habits with another person. Speak to her about it. Let her know that you just wish to assist her get higher and assist her discover restoration from codependency with one other particular person.

Because of this she has to search out methods to get higher with out taking away out of your relationship.

2) Encourage her to get assist

Do you perceive that codependency isn’t one thing that may be cured in a single day?

In that case, that is one more reason why you shouldn’t ignore your girlfriend’s codependency on one other particular person.

In case your girlfriend relies on another person, she must get assist.

She wants to have the ability to see that she has an issue and that she wants assist. And he or she needs to be prepared to get this assist from a therapist or counselor. In any other case, her codependency will proceed.

However what if she’s unwilling to obtain assist? What if she thinks that the truth that she is just too depending on another person is regular to your relationship?

On this case, you must be prepared to be robust and confront her about her codependency.

You need to be prepared to inform her that she isn’t regular, that she wants assist.

This may be tough since you would possibly really feel like a sufferer or like you’re being attacked by your girlfriend. Nevertheless it’s one of the simplest ways for her to get higher.

What’s worse, you is likely to be unwilling to offer your girlfriend the assist she wants. Or perhaps you even assume that this downside will fade away by itself and that your girlfriend will begin caring for your wants.

If that’s the case, you is likely to be the one who’s enabling her codependency with one other particular person. You would possibly even turn into codependent on her too.

As a substitute, encourage your girlfriend to hunt assist from a therapist or counselor should you assume it can assist her break away from codependency with another person.

And don’t keep silent if you hear about it as a result of they could attempt to persuade your girlfriend that there’s nothing mistaken with being codependent on one other particular person!

Because of this your girlfriend would possibly want quite a lot of assist to recover from this subject. So you must encourage her to hunt skilled assist if she wants it.

You see, she may not get higher on her personal. She would possibly want skilled assist with the intention to get higher.  But when she doesn’t discover ways to get higher with out taking away out of your relationship, then she’s going to proceed being codependent with another person for the remainder of her life.

And you recognize what?

Codependency is a really tough subject for people who find themselves in relationships. It’s laborious for them to grasp how they obtained into this place and why they can not appear to alter the scenario themselves.

Due to this fact, they want quite a lot of assist and encouragement with the intention to get higher.

So, you’ll be able to encourage your girlfriend to hunt skilled assist if she is codependent on another person.

That is particularly essential as a result of she would possibly must work on coping with this subject on her personal first earlier than looking for skilled help.

3) Get to the foundation of the difficulty and begin over

Have you ever ever thought of what your relationship along with your girlfriend could be like should you may begin over?

You may need.

However you most likely didn’t give it some thought for too lengthy since you most likely thought that it might be inconceivable to alter the previous.

However guess what?

There’s a approach to keep away from your girlfriend’s codependency on another person by beginning over your relationship.

How are you going to do that?

Should you’re coping with a codependency downside in your girlfriend’s habits, have you ever thought of attending to the foundation of the difficulty?

You see, most of our shortcomings in love stem from our personal sophisticated internal relationship with ourselves – how are you going to repair the exterior with out seeing the interior first?

I discovered this from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê, in his unbelievable free video on Love and Intimacy.

So, if you wish to enhance the relationships you could have along with your girlfriend and clear up the issue of her codependency with another person, don’t attempt to change her. Begin with your self as a substitute!

Take a look at the free video right here.

You’ll discover sensible options and way more in Rudá’s highly effective video, options that’ll stick with you for all times.

4) Assist her determine who she is and what she needs

If you wish to assist your girlfriend cease codependency on another person, there may be one factor that it is best to do:

Assist her determine who she is and what she needs.

Why so?

Properly, codependency on another person is an indication of deep insecurity. And if she can’t determine what she needs, then it is going to be tough for her to get right into a wholesome relationship with you as a result of she won’t know what sort of particular person she actually is.

So, it’s essential for her to search out out these items for herself.

It’s additionally essential that you just assist her on this regard, as a result of, in any case, you like her and wish the most effective for her.

And except she is aware of who she really is, it is going to be laborious for her to be joyful in an unhealthy relationship with one other particular person.

So ask her the next issues:

  • Why does she care a lot about another person when she’s in a relationship with you?
  • Why does she really feel the necessity to spend her time and a focus on one other particular person when she has you?

But when your girlfriend nonetheless has problem determining who she actually needs to be in life, then I counsel that you just give her house and let her perceive the scenario on her personal.

5) Assist her to see that codependency isn’t factor

Earlier than we transfer on, let me ask you one thing essential.

Does your girlfriend perceive that she’s codependent on another person?

And if she does, does she perceive that it’s not factor?

The reality is that many people who find themselves codependent on another person don’t even notice their unhealthy perspective.

And this is the reason it is best to assist her perceive it.

However what does she must do with the intention to come to phrases with the truth that she is codependent?

Properly, there are some things you are able to do. First, ask her if she’s ever thought of it.

If she says sure, then inform her that it’s not OK and that it’s essential for the each of you to work on this collectively as a result of the connection itself isn’t wholesome, particularly should you’re codependent on another person like your girlfriend.

And in case your girlfriend nonetheless doesn’t see the issue with being codependent on another person, it is best to ask her these questions:

  • What do you assume is one of the simplest ways for her to have a wholesome relationship with one other man?
  • What could be the most effective factor for her to do with the intention to get what she needs from this relationship?
  • How can she guarantee that she isn’t in a codependent relationship with another person?
  • How can she be certain that she won’t find yourself in an unhealthy relationship with another person?

No matter she says, this can undoubtedly assist her notice that being codependent on another person if you’re in a relationship isn’t factor.

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Or flip to a different approach to make her perceive why it’s a foul factor:

Properly, the reply is easy: inform her the reality. Don’t sugarcoat something and let her know the way dangerous this habits actually is.

Inform her straight that she’s codependent.

If she doesn’t like this, then you’ll be able to inform her that you just’re going to offer her house and let her give it some thought on her personal.

6) Set wholesome boundaries

Can I be completely trustworthy with you?

Having wholesome boundaries is one of the simplest ways so that you can defend your self or your accomplice from being codependent on another person.

The reality is that codependency is a significant issue and it’s not wholesome.

The truth that your girlfriend doesn’t see this as such an enormous deal signifies that she’s most likely codependent on another person and that it is advisable set wholesome boundaries to guard your self.

However how are you going to make certain that you don’t have wholesome boundaries in your relationship?

Properly, in case your girlfriend is codependent on another person, she most likely places an excessive amount of effort into pleasing somebody even when that somebody doesn’t care about her emotions.

Because of this she’ll most likely attempt to please this particular person in each manner doable, together with giving up her personal wants and needs.

And guess what?

The identical will occur with you. And because of this you don’t have wholesome boundaries in your relationship.

Listed here are some methods in which you’ll be able to set wholesome boundaries:

First, inform her straight how a lot house you need and the way a lot time she wants to offer you in an effort to do your personal factor with out having her always nagging at you.

Inform her what kinds of issues will make it laborious for each of you if she continues to be this fashion.

Second, inform her why this type of habits is damaging for each of you and the way it prevents you from getting what you need in life. In different phrases, inform her how unhealthy this kind of habits is.

Third, inform her that you just’re going to set wholesome boundaries and that she must respect them.

If she doesn’t respect your boundaries, then don’t be afraid to inform her that you just’ll begin ignoring her with the intention to defend your self from the ache of being harm by somebody who doesn’t care about your emotions.

Most probably, she’s going to really feel unhealthy about this as a result of she most likely thinks that you just’re being imply, hateful, and egocentric for doing this.

However don’t fear — if she retains being codependent on another person, this habits will turn into a behavior for her as properly. And it’ll get even worse as time goes by.

7) Obtain particular recommendation to your relationship issues

Do you discover that you may’t cope with your girlfriend’s codependency and that you just’re already beginning to really feel anxious and stressed?

And have you learnt what the worst half is?

She doesn’t even notice that she’s doing this to you!

So how are you going to cope with this downside?

Whereas the factors on this article will enable you to cope with your girlfriend’s codependency on another person, it may be useful to talk to a relationship coach about your scenario.

With an expert relationship coach, you may get recommendation tailor-made to the particular points you’re dealing with in your love life.

Relationship Hero is a website the place extremely educated relationship coaches assist folks navigate advanced and tough love conditions, like being codependent on another person. They’re common as a result of they genuinely assist folks clear up issues.

Why do I like to recommend them?

Properly, after going by means of difficulties in my very own love life, I reached out to them a couple of months in the past. After feeling helpless for thus lengthy, they gave me a singular perception into the dynamics of my relationship, together with sensible recommendation on find out how to overcome the problems I used to be dealing with.

I used to be blown away by how real, understanding, {and professional} they had been.

In just some minutes you’ll be able to join with a licensed relationship coach and get tailored recommendation particular to your scenario.

Click on right here to get began.

8) Don’t attempt to change her

To be trustworthy, many individuals who discover out that their accomplice is codependent on another person begin to get annoyed and indignant.

And you recognize what’s worse?

Consequently, they attempt to change their accomplice and make them cease being codependent on another person.

However this can be a mistake!


As a result of it’s not one thing that she needs to alter, and it’s undoubtedly not one thing that it is best to attempt to make her cease doing.

If she’s your girlfriend, you’re supposed to like her the way in which she is, proper?

However as a substitute, you’re attempting to alter her character and make her cease being codependent on another person.

And that’s not going to work.

I do know it sounds tough to simply accept at first, however the reality is that she’s not going to alter for you.

And should you attempt to change her, it’s not going to work out properly for both of you!

The reality is that your girlfriend really doesn’t wish to change. She needs to remain on this codependent relationship as a result of it’s all she is aware of and since it makes her really feel secure and safe. Codependency is a lifestyle for her.

So, as a substitute of adjusting, attempt to clarify why this could injury your relationship, and if she actually loves you, she’ll ultimately notice that this isn’t wholesome and can wish to get out of it.

9) Make a plan to maneuver ahead collectively

Should you’re in a relationship with somebody who’s codependent on another person, you might really feel misplaced and confused.

You don’t know what to do or find out how to proceed.

And that’s comprehensible. You don’t wish to harm your girlfriend, and also you need her to alter for the higher. However you’ll be able to’t do it alone.

One of the best factor that you are able to do is make a plan collectively in order that issues can get higher in the long term.

It could sound tough at first, however belief me – it’s not!

You simply must work collectively and do some work on your self as properly in order that each of you’ll be extra resilient when this occurs once more sooner or later!

As an example, listed below are some steps that I like to recommend:

  • Work in your communication abilities to have the ability to speak to your girlfriend about her codependency and categorical your emotions with out being harm.
  • Attempt to perceive why she’s codependent on another person and why this could trigger issues in your relationship.
  • Discover ways to deal with codependent habits in a more healthy manner in an effort to cope with it extra successfully.

And if you wish to make issues simpler, it is best to begin to plan your future and talk brazenly along with your girlfriend about it.

That manner, you’ll make her take into consideration your wants and preferences as a substitute of caring for another person’s.

10) Don’t blame her for being codependent on another person

And the ultimate tip I’m about to offer you is that it is best to cease blaming her for being codependent on another person.

In any case, she would possibly notice that codependence isn’t factor, however she will be able to’t assist it.

And that is true. She will be able to’t assist however be addicted to a different particular person.

It doesn’t imply that she doesn’t love you. Nevertheless it does imply that she’ll most likely need assistance to get better.

Should you actually love her and also you wish to assist her, the most effective factor that you are able to do isn’t blame her for being codependent.

This can solely make issues worse. As a substitute, present your girlfriend how a lot you like her and reassure her that she could be higher sooner or later.

And if she will get higher, then you definitely’ll be joyful to know that she’s on the best path in life and that she’s beginning to repair herself as a substitute of constructing others endure due to her codependency!

So, you shouldn’t blame her for that as a result of it can make her really feel unhealthy, and she’s going to really feel even worse.

This isn’t about being egocentric or controlling – that is about being trustworthy and compassionate.

You must take duty to your personal half on this relationship, however you shouldn’t take it a step additional and blame her for being codependent on another person.

You also needs to respect her emotions, wants, and needs as properly.

Remember the fact that you would possibly really feel harm as a result of she’s not doing one thing that you really want her to do. However because of this, you’ll discover methods to cope with this downside collectively and have a cheerful and wholesome relationship ultimately.

Remaining ideas

All in all, as a lot as you would possibly love your girlfriend, there is likely to be some elements of her life that really feel mistaken.

Should you’re certain that your girlfriend is codependent on another person, it is best to begin following our information and take the guidelines above under consideration.


As a result of codependent relationships transcend the boundaries of a wholesome relationship.

So, attempt to use all of your effort to get her out of it and present her find out how to cease being codependent on another person.

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