10 no bullsh*t tips (practical guide)

We typically embody merchandise we predict are helpful for our readers. When you purchase by way of hyperlinks on this web page, we might earn a small fee. Learn our affiliate disclosure.


In the case of turning them down, married males are typically not that simple to take care of.

I had an expertise just a few months in the past the place I merely didn’t know easy methods to go about turning a married man down, as he simply didn’t appear to get the message.

Nonetheless, after studying a bit extra in regards to the state of affairs, I discovered precisely what I wanted to do in that state of affairs, and I don’t wish to maintain it a secret!

I assure this can work with any married man you are attempting to show down!

How did I find yourself in that state of affairs?

Okay, I really feel such as you is perhaps a bit of curious, so let me reply some questions actual fast: how did I even find yourself in that state of affairs?

Properly, I used to be out and about getting just a few drinks at a bar, when a person approached me and we hit it off.

Approach too late I spotted that he was really sporting a marriage ring!

And no, this was not a “possibly it’s a traditional ring”-ring, this was a full-blown initials-carved-into-it-ring!

I felt like I used to be being hit within the face with this ring, and it was not one thing I may actually deal with.

I began to consider easy methods to get out of that state of affairs, however there have been no clear choices.

So I simply tried to play it cool and see what would occur.

I requested him about his spouse and he didn’t give me a transparent reply.

At that time, I had already given him my quantity, so even after I mentioned I used to be going house, I couldn’t cease him from texting me.

Now: how did I handle to show him down?

Properly, in the identical method, you’ll be able to flip any married man down.

Whether or not it’s a colleague, a buddy of the household, one among your buddies, or anybody else when a married man makes a transfer on you, you’ll be able to flip him down with these few tips:

1) Be clear about your intentions

Even when he’s a married man, he should know the place you stand and what your intentions are, irrespective of how refined or apparent you is perhaps.

As a married man, he is perhaps drawn to your flirtatious and pleasant nature, however on the identical time, he is perhaps attempting to learn between the strains and discover out if you’re eager on being greater than mates.

When he finds out that you just’re not eager about going any additional than being mates, he’ll finally again off.

You don’t should exit of your approach to make him really feel dangerous, however he should know the place you stand and the way far you’re prepared to go together with the connection.

This won’t solely maintain you protected, however it should additionally maintain him from pursuing you any additional after the required dialog.

Belief me, in case you instantly set clear intentions, whether or not he’s a buddy, a stranger on the bar, or anybody else, he’ll notice that you’re not simply an affair, however that you’ll not be with him.

2) Set boundaries

Be sure to set boundaries with this married man.

You don’t want to enter particulars about precisely what your boundaries are, however sufficient in order that he is aware of the place you stand on this state of affairs.

That method he’ll perceive that you’re not right here for video games and that the connection should stay skilled, particularly if you realize him from work.

This may set the tone and let him know that you’re not eager about being his aspect chick.

You see, boundaries may appear to be letting him know that you’ll not tolerate him flirting with you or touching you in any method.

Or probably, your boundaries are that you’ll not permit him to be a buddy with advantages.

You’ll be able to even set boundaries that you’ll permit him to be mates with you, however no more than that.

3) Keep agency and persist with your phrases

This a part of the dialog is essential and you must be agency and persist with your phrases.

There isn’t any cause to be impolite or aggressive, however it can be crucial that you just categorical your self and ensure he understands.

You’ll not be mates with the advantages, or his mistress, or no matter you wish to name it.

You’ll merely be mates.

That’s it. No invitation to new ranges of friendship. Nothing else.

He can develop into offended, however it can be crucial that you just stand by your phrases and don’t change your thoughts.

Chances are you’ll not know why he’s married, or how lengthy he’s been married, however he has chosen to be married and that’s his selection, so you should respect that and maintain the friendship strictly on a pleasant stage.

You see, if a married man can’t persist with the vows and guarantees he made to his spouse, then that’s clearly his fault, however that doesn’t imply you don’t want to stay to your personal morals and values.

I don’t understand how about you, however I select to be an individual who respects different individuals’s relationships and their choices.

I don’t wish to be part of a person’s life who’s dishonest on his spouse, so I can’t do something to get entangled in that.

There isn’t any want for drama or some other type of confrontation between the 2 of you.

4) Don’t be overly good

You don’t wish to be seen as a woman who’s all the time attempting to make him really feel higher.

Generally, you merely should be blunt and simple. You don’t actually have to be the lady who makes the whole lot about him and tries to cheer him up when he’s feeling down.

You might be good with out being overly good.

Make certain to be a buddy who he can flip to when he wants somebody to speak to, however don’t be an excessive amount of in his enterprise or too wanting to make him really feel higher.

He’ll start to sense that you just care an excessive amount of and it may well make him get the incorrect concept about the place you stand with him.

Belief me, many males mistake being good for flirting, so maintain issues comparatively cool between the 2 of you.

5) Be direct and trustworthy

Generally, you must be direct and trustworthy, and that’s okay.

You don’t have to present an extended rationalization and sound like a idiot. Generally, a easy sentence will do. “I’m not eager about being greater than mates.”

“I’m not eager about having a relationship exterior of this workplace.”

“I’m not going so far you.”

“I don’t wish to be a part of an affair.” And so forth.

You don’t should get too difficult, simply keep trustworthy and direct.

Belief me, being direct and trustworthy is oftentimes the one approach to get a person to know that you just don’t wish to be with him.

6) Ask for his spouse’s contact info

When you actually wish to take this to the following stage, you’ll be able to ask for his spouse’s contact info.

This may present him that you just actually care about his marriage and wish to have the ability to help his marriage to the fullest extent.

It’s going to additionally present him that you’re prepared to inform his spouse the whole lot if he ever tries a transfer on you.

That is the largest approach to present him that you’re now not eager about being greater than mates and that you’re critical about your intentions.

When he is aware of that you’re about to get in touch along with his spouse, he will certainly depart you alone, I can assure that.

7) Change the topic

Generally, one of the simplest ways to eliminate the dialog is to vary the topic.

You don’t should get into an enormous argument or begin an pointless dialog simply to keep away from the subject.

Simply change the topic and transfer on. Generally, it’s the most suitable choice.

If you maintain altering the topic at any time when he tries to flirt, he’ll finally get the purpose, belief me!

8) Inform him how a lot you despise cheaters

If you’re a robust lady, you should have a robust opinion on dishonest, and one of the simplest ways to show him down is to inform him how a lot you despise cheaters.

He might attempt to defend his actions, however he deserves to know that you just despise his actions and that he has no place in your life.

On the finish of the day, you aren’t in his sneakers and also you don’t know precisely how he feels, however you’ll be able to voice your opinion and let him understand how you’re feeling about his actions.

He might find yourself apologizing for his actions and you may merely stroll away from the dialog along with your head held excessive.

Belief me, there isn’t a higher approach to flip a married man down than to inform him how unattractive his betrayal is to you.

Not solely will he not get what he needs, additionally, you will depart him feeling dangerous for his actions.

9) Discuss your personal associate (or make one up)

Generally, one of the simplest ways to show a married man down is solely to inform him you have got a associate.

The purpose is, you have got a associate, and this man doesn’t have an opportunity on the earth of getting right into a relationship with you.

When he asks about your associate, merely let him know that you’ve one and that he’s your world. You’ll be able to even make up a associate.

You may make up a associate and their title and inform him that your associate is there for you and loves you very a lot.

I do know, it’s type of an previous trick within the guide, nevertheless it works!

10) Simply say no and persist with your morals

On the finish of the day, it’s your selection. You don’t wish to date married males, and also you don’t wish to date cheaters.

You don’t wish to break up a wedding, and also you don’t wish to be somebody’s aspect chick.

Merely put, you have got morals, and also you wish to persist with them.

That’s one of the simplest ways to show down a married man. He might battle. He might attempt to persuade you.

He might attempt to guilt journey you or he might attempt to manipulate you into courting him.

However on the finish of the day, you must persist with your morals and your values and know that you just made the proper determination.

The factor is, he can’t make you do something, so in case you keep stern in your morals, then you’re successful right here.

So long as you say no, nothing dangerous can occur!

Finest case you’ll even remind him of the truth that he has morals to uphold and values to observe.

What now?

I do know, it may be a bit troublesome at first when a married man needs to be with you and you must flip him down, however don’t be afraid of it!

After I was in your state of affairs, I adopted the following pointers and it was very easy to show him down.

In fact, all the time ensure you are feeling protected and good whenever you do that.

  • Leave Comments